I am who I am…

Memories blink, flash, and sting
Oh how I would give anything
To have you smile down on me
To hear words spoken lovingly

Crass, degrading, condescending
Are all that echo never-ending
Sure, I strayed on a bad route
Harsh consequences dug me out

All my possessions have slipped away
Those once close, stand at bay
All trust destroyed, all bonds eradicated
Along with all hope and love serrated

Unable to look passed old faults
Grinding wounds with chunk size salts
Unavailable, busy and disinterested still
I hear you loud and clear – my heart shrills

Years of rejection, neglect, falling short
To every expectation of your higher court
A court assembled with a body of one
Hey, you on your pedestal, “I am done!’

Done trying to measure up
To your every expectational hiccup
I am, who I am, with mistakes and all
But who made me has his own I recall

So interpret this poem and please do find fault
It’s my expectation your loudest default
It is your pronounced narcissistic trait
So go on peacock, judge and dictate

I value myself too much today
So with these words, I do say
I do not need your approval or validation
Nor do I require your oppressive ovation

I am human, I accept the fate
Along with all life put on my plate
I am worthy, I am human, and I am just me
Complete with all my dark intricacies

I’ve smelled the breath of the Devil himself
Whispered forgiveness from the Angels themselves
A crooked path was my journey in life
Unyielding my serenity to your strife

For I have accepted all of me
Basking in the good you cannot see
A void is left but it will soon mend
With every word that I have penned

Releasing all the toxic voices inside
Diminishing their volume, and their lies
I am beautiful, intelligent, and smart
A strong woman with a good heart

I’m sorry that you can’t see
All the good I possess in me
For life is short a precious gift
To waste on your negative thoughtless shit


Photo by Leighann Renee on Unsplash

Check out this article on the “Art of Self-Forgiveness” here


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