Written by KG Petrone
Some of you may never know the horror of addiction as personally as others. Hopefully, you never do. People often question the addict; how can they do that? How can they repeatedly hurt the ones they love? They should just get help? People blurt out all kinds of off-handed comments like; if you really love me you would stop, just don’t do it, or don’t you have any willpower. People often look at addicts as; derelicts, a waste of air, the uncaring comment has been said that they belong and should go to or remain in jail, etc.
But is jail the answer? Most addicts are good people, trapped in a vicious cycle of a slow debilitating torturous death. Some began using recreationally with friends, or due to peer pressure. Eventually getting trapped wanting nothing more than to stop but at the same time unable to. The pain of withdrawal too great. The mind’s constant all-consuming obsession driven by an uncontrollable compulsion to use.
Once trapped in this never-ending cycle of living to use, and using to live. At some point, the addict will arrive at a jumping off place, as they say.
What does that mean? It is a dark, lonely and hollow place where the addict actually debates on taking of their own life in order to free themselves from the torrid cycle. Some may need an extra push toward an answer – a way out – a way to find break the cycle.
Some have found the only way they could get any freedom from the bonds of addicts is by doing time. Yup, you heard that right, jail or prison! In a twisted, desperate attempt for freedom, even for a brief period, an addict locked behind bars is safe. Their supply source cut off the bars, their protector, offer rest, solace and comfort.
Their bodies weak from lack of proper nutrients, lack of sleep, lack of hygiene. They are totally worn down from always being on the run to satisfy their compulsive nagging obsession. The downside to this sanctuary type jail retreat is that they detox with no professional medical supervision. They are offered meager if any, healing therapy. They are not given any awareness or education to learn how to live without using. How to reboot their minds and bodies to accept living life on life’s terms without the use of drugs. So after recouping and serving their time these retreater’s who have volunteered for three hots and a cot are thrust back into society doomed to repeat and return.
Addiction is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. Some addicts have, during their active using period(s), succumbed to so much abuse (mental and physical), as well as, experiencing the lowest form of self-degradation may eventually suffer some kind of breakdown. Some believe the disease is passed down genetically. It has been proven repeatedly that no freedom has ever been accomplished by seeking an easier softer way. It does not exist.
“We constantly battle with the shame, guilt, and self-hurt, as well as, with the hurt, we inadvertently inflicted on others. Our obsession to numb our pain continues long after the physical pains of withdrawal have subsided. We want nothing more than to erase a past – forever ingrained in our minds and heart that we feel every day -with our every breath.”
However, the “Jail,” intervention and losing all freedoms and having literally no “free will,” can actually be a blessing in disguise. It has been said, “In order to see the beauty of a situation – you first have to see the ugliness of it!” But to the on-lookers with no personal knowledge of being caught in the stronghold of addiction. The addict is looked upon as a pathetic lot.
For example, as with death – everyone goes through the cycle of; grief, sadness, anger, bargaining before arriving finally to “acceptance.” When an addict finally reaches the “jumping off place,” which is the point of being “sick and tired” of being “sick and tired” of the daily, every second, of every day caught in the never-ending race of supply and demand. There comes a point when the addict will seriously consider taking their own life! A place the average Joe could not even comprehend. No addict ever wants to admit their intentions out loud. But out of dire desperation when caught between the needing to use and the wanting to stop unable to tolerate the body’s pain demanding more, while battling with every ounce of your heart and soul to resist and stop!!!
What the hell do you do? The torment and pain of using are unbearable. Now the addict has reached another jumping off point, where they actually cry, because they don’t want to use, but HAVE to use. They feel there is no way out! But there is – IF YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH!
If anyone is reading this and you are at this point. Stay the course! Pick up your smartphone and enter AA. Or NA, if you prefer. Dial the number!!! Ask for a ride, get to a meeting and let people know you need help.
I bet that out of 100 people reading this- only 1 might take the suggestion and dial the number. What’s holding you back? A better life? Possibly making friends? Not having to wake up worrying about the next hit, line or whatever? “Ditching that insidious Monkey on your back!”
Oh, my God! Could you just imagine the day, when you could wake up, eat a nice breakfast, and live life normally? How awesome would it be? Not to be looking over your shoulder worrying about those hideous flashing lights behind you as you drive down a road?
Well, help is available, or possibly, if reach out for help. Do it before you find the cure through death. Because all addicts will find themselves in one of three places…Jails, institutions or in the grave.
The choice is yours and if you don’t make the first move.
Your addiction can make it for you!
What would you like written on your headstone?
What are your thoughts on this article? Share your experience with Addiction? And of course, PLEASE share some experience, strength, and hope in the comments below…
Literary Arts by K.G. Petrone 
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